Camomile Tea
by amisunderstoodlifesandy
Summary: Oh some ranondomness. I might add different stories. But for now John is a female (Joan) and the Holmes brother talk about something that is usually only meant to talk about with other females. (Can you guess what it is?) Lol it will be funny
1. Camomile Tea

**AN: okay so this idea was extremely random. I imagined John as a girl, (Joan) and she overheard the Holmes brothers in the living room talking about her menstrual cycle (as if it were any of their business!). But yeah; so relationship established, not married (yet) and everything else is same old same old besides John. Also if I took another person's title I'm sorry, I just thought it would sound better since camomile tea is good to help cramps.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or show or the book by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.**

**Just my imagination.**

**Camomile Tea**

Joan was in the kitchen one Sunday mid morning making some camomile tea for Sherlock and herself. An 'unexpected' visitor came knocking on their door, which now explains why they are having tea mid morning.

The visitor was none other than Mycroft Holmes coming to check on his dear brother and new lover. "Good day to you both. Sherlock nice to see you already dressed. You as well Joan." Mycroft smirked. He knew if it were up to them, they would still be in bed; which is why he had sent both a text that he would be coming over.

Joan as per usual offered tea to which he refused, so now back to the present.

Joan sat on the arm of Sherlocks chair just listening to their hidden messages about childhood, when the tea whistled that is was done. She got up and went to make herself and Sherlock a cuppa. However as she worked, she heard the conversation that never though would be utter in her presence.

"Camomile tea dear brother? I thought you prefered Early Grey." Knowing that he made a smirk, Sherlock replied "Unlike you Mycroft, I take into consideration of my partner's let's say 'health' matters." Clearing his throat, Mycroft retorted, "Hm, and doesn't it bother you Sherlock. Aren't you weighed down by her mentrual cycles to the point that you can't do cases?"

Before he could explain, Joan gently set down the cups, took a deep breath and walked over to the chair. "I do not believe that my cycle is any part of you concern, Mycroft. And to be honest I can handle it so no it does not 'weigh him down'." And she walks to go get the tea for Sherlock. Joan reappears and hand him the cup all the while, Sherlock keeps that 'I win' smirk on.

"And how do you keep it under control Joan?" Mycroft kept pestering on. Chuckling she responded "I drink my tea and take my pills. Now if you don't mind, please do stop talking about my cycle. Or so help me God I will find Sherlock's harpoon and will not hesitate to impale you both. Good day." And with that she walks downstairs to Mrs. Hudson.

Both watching the area she had just left from Mycroft said "I can see why you love her, Sherlock." In his deep baritone voice he chuckled "Yes." And sipped his camomile tea.

**AN:okay the idea was random, nobody hate me I just needed it to come out of my head. I hoped you enjoyed the really random story.**

**Bye bye :)**


	2. Lemon and Honey

**AN: Continuing with the Chamomile Tea story. I think I shall have different kinds of tea as my subject basis. Also I might switch from male John to female Joan if it would fit the story. But John won't always be a female.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the story, the show, the book, or the characters. Just my imagination.**

**Lemon and Honey Tea**

ACHOO! *sniff sniff* "JOOOOOOOAAANNNN!" Sherlock was on the couch, you know the one that is too small for him. He heard chuckling from the kitchen . "So I suppose me dying is amusing to you." Full blown laughter escapes the kitchen. "You know you really are cru...achoo el" Sherlock pouts once again.

Out comes Joan, tray full of fresh strawberries, a piece of his favorite chocolate cake (its just the chocolate cake Joan makes every now and then) and a nice cuppa. "Sherlock, stop exaggerating. You are going to live. You wouldn't be in this situation if you had not stayed out in the rain and waited for me." Sounding even more nasaly, he says "That's easy for you to say, you aren't the one who is sneezing left and right." Smiling she places the tray on the table and walks behind Sherlocks head. "You love, need to relax. At least for today." Scoffing, he says "Oh I don't see why the brain needs a brea..." He stops as Joan begins massaging his scalp.

"That's what I thought. Now let's get you seated." She moves to sit her Sherlock upright, believe though that it wasn't an easy job. As soon as he was up, she hand him the lemon tea with a spoonful of honey. "Drink this love, it will soothe your throat, calm thoughs coughs and clear you nose." At first, Sherlock refused to drink anything else. "No, it will hurt my throat!" However she managed to get it down his throat.

"Don't be such a baby Sherlock; besides now you get your cake." Smiling at the thought, he got up and began to slowly devour the cake. Sighing, she got up and prepared to leave Sherlock be. As she grabbed her jacket, a small whimper made her stop. Joan turned around to see a chocolate smeared faced Sherlock looked at her with puppy eyes. "Don't go...I..." Smiling she put her jacket down.

She sat down on the couch and made Sherlock lay his head on her lap, so she could be his pillow. "Silly consulting detective, I will never leave you. I always come back don't I?" He nodded trying to drink his soothing tea. "Honey always goes with Lemon love, neither one leaves and both balance each other."

Smiling, Sherlock began falling into a deep sleep.


	3. Pomegranate and Raspberry Tea

**AN: I got this idea from this really sweet tea I had. Pomegranate and Raspberry. It was amazingly sweet! Like candy! You should try it!**

**Pomegranate and Raspberry Tea**

"NO! I refuse to fall for it." Joan was getting annoyed with the great consulting detective. "But Joan! It's the only way to kick the habit!" Joan gives him a glare, then she sighs. "Sherlock, I refuse to give you treats if you refuse to go to the dentist. End of story."

Pouting, Sherlock dragged over to his chair bat sat down on the floor in front of it. "You are indeed cruel. I don't see the need for such simple practices and why people must go." Rolling her eyes she crouch down to Sherlock, "You do look ridiculous in a suit and pouting for candy." She smiles, kisses him on the forehead and says "I'll be back in a 2 hours, please don't completely destroy the flat while I'm gone love." And with that she gets up and leaves to the store.

As she left 221b, she thought 'Now where was that tea located again? Oh boy this will take a while.' Sherlock on the other hand was trying to find ways to control his addictions. He tried to focus on a case, but his hands kept shaking. He also tried to perform more experiments among the thousands of fingers he has, but his leg couldn't keep still.

On the other side of London, Joan had finally found the tea she needed. Somehow the store clerk remembered her. "Back for some more tea, Joan? It's been to long; so what will it be today?" She picked up the box and said "Just a 2 of these please, and throw in some Earl Grey." The clerk looked at her as if she was crazy. "What's with the sweet tea? I doubt it's for you Joan." Smiling she responded "Oh just trying to cut back an addiction." Chuckling she paid and left, bag full of her secret weapon.

Sherlock had shot the wall; AGAIN! It was the only thing keeping him from the jitteriness. Then he heard the door open and immediately got up. At first he believe it was Mrs. Hudson and quickly tried to make up an excuse. However when he heard the familiar chanting, he knew it was Joan. He ran to the door and threw it open. At first, Joan was surprised, but then she cautious. "Sherlock," she warned. "Yes Joan?" "Please go put my gun up before I use it one you."

So while Sherlock went to 'put away' the gun, she started to prepare the tea. When he came back down, Joan lined up the sugar and his cup so he could finish it to his liking. "Sherlock, come here and drink the tea." Groaning he said, "UGH! I don't want bloody tea. How is tea going to help me?!" Shaking her head, she brought the tea over and told him he could prepare it the way he would want to.

"Joan? What kind of tea is this? Why is it so pink?" "It's a different flavor Sherlock. Pomegranate and Raspberry. I believe it will cure your crazy cold turkey/addiction situation."

At first, Sherlock was hesitant, but he began pouring in spoonfuls of sugar. After he was satisfied, he drank it very slowly. "Oh for god sakes Sherlock, it's not poisoned. Just drink it."

The first sip was delightful, the second sip was sweeter than sweet, and the first gulp was like lost in a forest of sweets. "Dear god Sherlock! I said drink it, not devour the whole Thames." He stuck his tongue out (a clear sign he is returning to normal, well normal for Sherlock Holmes). At the sight of her boyfriend she laughed so hard. "What? What's so funny?" He asked like a child on Christmas morning.

"Love, your upper lip is stained a dark pink!" Pouting again, he got an idea. "Come here, Joan." She saw the look of 'evil' in his eyes and knew what he planned. "Oh no you don't. Don't you do it, don't you dare." She warned. He put his cup down and quickly held her in place. Soon he started kissing her cheeks and lips, just 'trying' to get the stain off. "Oh dear, this isn't my interesting Sherlock. This is my childlike, hyper Sherlock."

Giggling, he pulled back and said, "I would love some more." "NO! I mean I only bought one bag to see if it would work." Disappointed, he placed the cup down and laid his head on her lap. Feeling so much better than before. 'I have to remember to hide those packets well' Joan thought to herself.

**3 weeks later.**

**"**Joan! I found them! I'm making Pomegranate and Raspberry Tea!" She went into shock and screamed "OH DEAR NOOOO!"

**AN: Yes I know it wasn't so good, this chapter but I had to check off this tea. If any one has teas that you recommend to try and write a story about, please leave a comment or message me. THANK YOU :D**


	4. Earl Grey

AN: I want to apologize for my late updates on this series of short stories. I actually have been having very few inspirations and school is coming up so there's that to look forward to. Anyways I hope you enjoy this story came to me this morning.

"Mrs. Hudson, how nice it is to see you." Mrs. Hudson opened the door to find Mycroft Holmes and Detective Lestrade standing on the other side. "Boys come in; I was just putting on the tea. May I ask what you two fine gentlemen are doing here? Sherlock and Joan are still off at some little case." Mycroft sat down along with Lestrade, "Actually Mrs. Hudson we came to see you. We were wondering what you can tell us about my brothers' relationship with Joan." Mrs. Hudson looked at them as if they had asked her a personal question about herself. Lestrade jumped in to avoid a dispute, "We just wanted to know if there have been any fights. Or whether he has been good to her and vice versa; we don't mean to know their intimate status, Mrs. Hudson." Mrs. Hudson's demeanor changed after that. "What can I tell you boys that aren't so obviously seen?" Mycroft and Lestrade looked at each other with questioning glances. She serves them both to and sits down. "Let me tell you boys a little story; something I've seen going on in 221b for some time now."

Drifts into flashback/story telling mode

You see boys, something almost like a daily routine happens. They could be on a case given by one of you two or by a distressed client. So as you know they both work nonstop to figure out a tricky one. I pop up there every so often to put up things, ask if everything is alright and maybe just to see if they haven't gone mad yet. But the more times I saw them, the more I saw this little routine.

Sherlock would be sitting at his microscope and Joan would either be on the floor, on the chair or on the sofa surrounded by paperwork. Of course you would probably think that this is just usual Sherlock and Joan. However since they became intimate; every time I pop up there silently I notice Sherlock glance at Joan every couple of minutes when it is getting later in the evening, he catches glances of her to see if she is tired. Now I'm no Holmes, but it not hard to see a concern and caring partner like him. I do realize that he never did that to her until they became intimate.

Anyways, about the time I go to sleep, I hear slight, swift movement up there. I go up silently and I see Sherlock taking a sleeping Joan to bed, not to her bed mind you but his. From there it is plain to see that whenever and wherever Joan falls asleep, being on the sofa, the floor, the chair or god knows where else, Sherlock always takes her to bed. Though you may have guessed he doesn't sleep with her when he lays her down; no sirs he just goes back to work.

You say he carries her to his bed? Why not to hers? Well you see Mycroft, she doesn't see his bed as "his" bed; she sees it as their bed. Sherlock still has trouble sometimes coming to terms to that fact that she is his and that she would rather be surrounded by things that remind her of him than be alone up there. It took a lot of talking to and a lot of persuasion to come to understand with that, but he still has nagging thoughts.

Oh sorry dears, I'm getting off track, now where were we? I yes, he goes back to work. Now I am pretty sure that he does look at the papers that she has laid out and he does work until God knows what hour. So when I come up in the morning, I expect to see him hunched over a jar of something or his microscope. But I don't.

I check to see if he is sprawled over the sofa, the floor, the stairs, and a chair. He is nowhere to be found. I check to see if he went out but is coat is still there. Knowing Sherlock he would never be distracted with anything while on a case. I go and see if Joan is awake to ask where he has gone but when I look there he is peacefully sleeping. He has his arms wrapped around her and she is happy in his arms. I didn't know it at the time, but sometime in the night, he dropped the case for a few minutes and went into his room. Knowing Sherlock's sleeping pattern, no one would actually believe he was going to sleep. Turns out he loves to watch her sleep, relaxes him to the point of thinking faster apparently. However it appeared he was to relaxed with her and fell asleep right there. Something about her breathing and the silence soothes his restless nature for one night.

Now I do hear this every morning, they get up and make their Earl Grey only to continue the work they have abandoned for a night. There is no guarantee that he comes to bed every time, and sometimes that is the case. But Joan doesn't argue, doesn't fight, nor gets mad. She just gets up and begins making the tea. She asks him if he wants one and he grunts a yes to her. She makes her cup and makes his to his exact likings and places it at a certain spot so it won't spill but where he will be able to see it. She sits down to the papers and occasionally glances at her and just like magic, they are back to the case.

Comes back from storytelling mode/end flashback

"You see boys, a lot of things change in that flat, many do stay the same. But those two are like that Earl Grey every morning." Lestrade and Mycroft look at her questionably. It's Lestrade who asks the silent question "How so Mrs. Hudson?" She gets up to pour herself another cup and says "Love is like that brew every morning, boys. It's poured into two different cups. One is mixed with varieties of wonderful things into it, so it can kick start you and sweeten you. The other is natural with just a delicate drop of sugar to keep you alert and keep you whole. But both are from the same brew, both have those in common. However no matter how much you agitate it or how much care you put into every cup; in the end it is still Earl Grey." She turns around and smiles at them, "It still is love."


	5. Peppermint Tea

AN: Okay readers, I am trying to update as much as I can even though I should be reading my mandatory book, finishing my math packet and practicing my music for All State; but I swear I will get it all done before the last minute :D. However I don't want to bore you readers with my personal life so here I give you another short story with tea

"Sherlock, what in God's name where you thinking? I told you not to eat anything from the fridge; it's gone bad and I was planning on throwing it out five minutes ago!" Sherlock lay on the bed howling in pain. Turns out that leftover takeout food from last week spoiled along with everything else in that broken refrigerator. Now Sherlock is having trouble with the sudden indigestion.

"Joooan! Do something! I don't feel so good." Sighing, Joan went into the bedroom and stood at the doorway. "If you had listened to me, you wouldn't be in this predicament." Sherlock attempted to give her a pouty look but with the indigestion clouding up everything, it appeared more like someone holding back vomit, which made Joan sympathize with here arrogant boyfriend.

"Oh don't give me that." She raised her eyebrow, "Give you wha-" "Your 'sympathetic look, that's not what I need right now." Sherlock exclaimed. "Alright, give me a few minutes then." And with that he watched her leave the room and heard her leave their flat. Unable to get up, he couldn't help but wonder where she was going. But just as th e thought came, so did the urgency for the bathroom.

Mrs. Hudson was surprise to see Joan at her door. "Joan, sweetie come in; would you like some tea?" Smiling she said "Thank Mrs. Hudson but I can't stay. You see Sherlock is sick and is spending too much time in the bathroom, if you get me." "Oh the poor dear, I do hope everything will be alright. Did you try some tea dear?" Relief spread through her body, Mrs. Hudson understood where she was going with this. "Mrs. Hudson that's the thing I was hoping on asking you about. Would you be ever so generous as to giving me a bag of your peppermint tea?" Being the dear lady she is Mrs. Hudson beamed and said, "Of course dear; anything to help the poor dear."

She handed a couple of bags to Joan, which in return she hugged Mrs. Hudson, gave her a kiss on the cheek, thanked her and quickly ran upstairs to brew the minty tea. It didn't take long before the brew was made; unfortunately she knew that this tea couldn't be made in Sherlock's liking, so she would have to brace for impact. She entered the room with the cup in her hands only to notice that Sherlock wasn't in his bed which could only mean one thing; he was in the bathroom.

She knocked on the door and said "Sherlock, dear umm, when you are done in there come out here and drink this tea." Then she quietly went to sit on the bed and wait. Two minutes later he emerged from the bathroom, looking like he hadn't slept in days. Joan had gotten up to help him onto the bed. "Now it's not what you usually drink and I know you won't like the flavor, but it will make you feel much better; I promise."

Giving her the "Home remedies don't actually work", he drinks up the minty tea. "NOTHING IS HAPPENING, JOAN." Chuckling, she cradles is cheek in her hand and says, "Well, my genius, tea doesn't work in five minutes like your magnificent brain." With that comment, he silently drank his tea, all the while staring at her with big happy eyes. She smiles at him and takes the cup when he finishes. She lays him down on the bed, his head on her lap and gently massages his head.

"You are one insane detective, my dear Holmes." Chuckling he retorts. "And you know you wouldn't have me any other way my dear Watson."


End file.
